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Rant ahead.

I'm doing student conferences this week. I've actually been doing them for the last three weeks, but most students couldn't plan their time accordingly, so I've had lines of students outside my office for the last few days. These conferences are mandatory and are part of the students' grades. The goal is to speak to each student for about 20 minutes outside of class, get to know the student a little better as an individual, and catch any problems before finals week.

Two of my students came in yesterday (I had to see them two-by-two because the lines were so long) and were about to have a very bad conference consisting of us staring at each other, until I asked a question about why one of the students wasn't participating in class. It turns out that another, very vocal (and very, very right wing) student has been extremely offending her by some of the things he hints at saying. Now, keep in mind, that he's a button pusher by nature. I'm aware of his tendencies, and I spend a lot of class discussions re-routing him back on topic. I do not allow any of the bashing he tries to bring up.

So this female student in question has been coming to class angry, leaving angry, and trying to skip as often as possible because the whole situation is so upsetting for her. I get this. What I don't get is why she has kept it to herself. She had no intention of sharing this with me, or making any effort to change the situation, because she was afraid "of losing her self-esteem" (her words). I never would have found out about this problem had I not mandated her (and every other student) into my office and asked directly. She has been allowing this to go on for eight weeks and saw no reason why she should speak up, either to me or to the student whose comments offend her.

When I pointed out that participating is part of her grade--something I've reminded the class of almost daily because there are only a handful of people who speak out--she said "but I've done everything you asked me to do."

*stunned*

So coming to class sporadically, talking only when called upon, and otherwise sitting in the back of the class visibly seething is what I've asked her to do? Nevermind that I have asked all my students to talk a lot in class, and I have asked that they address any problems to me so I can fix them.

This is upsetting for me. I've worked very hard in all of my classes to create a forum where people can feel comfortable speaking, because I want them to be able to trust each other with their writing.

To find out there's a problem in this class .. well, it's not horribly surprising since there's no way that someone wouldn't be offended by the vocal student. I am a little surprised at the depth of the issue. But to find out that this young woman refused to take any responsibility for improving her own situation because she was afraid of damaging her self-esteem really, really gets to me.

Rant out.